It is well

We are pretty busy squeezing as much summer fun and togetherness as we can out of these last few weeks before school starts again, so this will be brief! We are praising God for another PET scan that shows no evidence of disease. It has been almost a year since I have had IV chemotherapy, and we and my oncologist are both surprised and delighted at this continued excellent result. I don’t think I’m getting much better at handling “scan week” with peace and absolute trust in God, whatever the result, though. It’s always such a hard time. Thank you to those who want to know the exact date and who faithfully pray so fervently for me, especially during the waiting.

Some of my labs were “flagged” for being too high or too low, but my oncologist believes that since they have been relatively stable, there’s no cause for alarm. Some of the issues are most likely related to the hepatopulmonary syndrome that the chemo drug TDM1 brought on. I’ll have a cardiology workup in September to check everything out on that front. Next PET scan in 4 months.

God has been so kind to me in allowing me to celebrate so many fun events this summer–Emily’s college graduation, Luke’s arrival back in the States from South Korea, a trip to visit Hannah in Asheville and Emily in Charleston, Olivia’s medical mission trip to Bolivia, my mom’s and Rich’s dad’s 80th birthdays, a niece’s soon-to-arrive baby, and our 30th wedding anniversary. We celebrated that with a side trip to the Outer Banks, and then our sweet kids treated us to a Bed & Breakfast on a restored Mississippi tugboat in St. Paul last week. When cancer forces you to confront your mortality every day, you treasure all of these events so much.

My mind regularly lingers on people I know who, though diagnosed after me, have died from cancer already. Survivor’s guilt is real. But I know that Psalm 139:16 is true: “All my days were written in Your book and ordained for me before one of them came to be.” God, make me faithful and fruitful with however many days you might still give me.

One of the first nights Luke was home I went for a walk. On my way back down the driveway, I heard him playing piano. The melody of this familiar old song reached me in the dark. I sat outside, listening:

When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come
Let this blest assurance control
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate
And has shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought
My sin, not in part, but the whole
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend
Even so, it is well with my soul! (Horatio Spafford, 1873)